Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
