toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
