you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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