brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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