I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize