I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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