I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
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