There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Randomize
