Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize