Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
