she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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