And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
