I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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