hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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