u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize