I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
