I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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