I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Randomize
