Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
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