the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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