Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
They left me at home... I'm a liability
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize