I hate all girls vehemently.
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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