You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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