defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
