we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Ladies don't puke and tell
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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