2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
