My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
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I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
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Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
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