youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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