Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
