So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
