he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Randomize
