We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
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