Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
