What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
