i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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