I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
ok first of all what the fuck
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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