I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
