That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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