When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
i drank out of a bidet.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Randomize
