you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Randomize
