It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
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We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
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