hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize
