you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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