They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
