I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
