You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.