But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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