So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
