I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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