I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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