I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
you win again, gameday.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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