fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
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