Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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