I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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