Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
