No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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