is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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